One of my ex-girlfriends who cheated on me called me a few weeks ago to tell me she misses me. Annoying! I just want her to leave me alone and walk her horrible self into oncoming traffic. The conversation:

Casey: Hello.
Stupid bitch: Hey.
Casey: Why are you calling?
Stupid bitch: I just wanted to say hi.
Casey: Oh...well...uh....hi.
Stupid bitch: So...
Casey: So...what do you want?
Stupid bitch: I wanted to tell you something and I couldn't e-mail you cuz I think you blocked my e-mails.
Casey: Yeah, well that's because your e-mails suck and they're hard to understand.
Stupid bitch: OK, whatever. I just wanted to let you know that I miss talking to you and being with you. But obviously you don't care.
Casey: Yeah, you're right. You did kind of cheat on me. I really don't care if you miss me.
Stupid bitch: OK, let's just talk about something else. I still want to be friends and I want things to be OK between us. So what are you doing right now?
Casey: Masturbating to the thought of Buffy killing you with a wooden stake on a Star Trek like spaceship.
Stupid bitch: (hangs up)

previous | next